Holiday Grief

What does it feel like to grieve during the holidays?

My experience of holiday day grief …

It feels over whelming and painful, like it does when your head goes under a wave and the pressure coming down on you smashes your face into the sand and you loose all orientation of your surroundings and fail to take a relieving breath. It engulfs your entire being filling you with loneliness and despair that is indescribable, linguistics fail in every moment. There is no explanation or thought coherent enough to provide understanding. No comfort. No relief. No reprieve. Nothing liberates you from the difficult sensations permeating your very existence. You are left with nothing other than pain. This pain cuts to the depth of your soul that has been torn, shredded, and frayed beyond recognition.

wave

 

Pretty awful huh! Yup, it hurts.

  •  What is a person to do?
  • How do we move through this pain?
  • Where is the relief?
  • Who do we turn to?
  • Why would you even want to?

 

In the coming days I will be addressing each of these questions from my personal perspective, and experience.  This is a journey that I did not choose, it was forced upon me and now it is my responsibility to make a choice. How will I handle this? I am not asking for advice nor understanding, all I ask for is witness to my pain and healing as I grow and develop into who God would have me be.

Grief Cycle

The Cycle Of Grief

Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and the nature of the loss. The grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried—and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving.

As I said grief is a very personal thing and people express their grief in different ways; but there is a common pattern which most people go through, starting with shock and disbelief. This pattern has been called the “cycle of grief”

 

Shock

People’s first reaction is usually one of shock and complete disbelief. Shock affects people in different ways: everything can seem unreal; people can feel numb, withdrawn, detached; some people feel completely disorientated and don’t know what to do with themselves. For some it is a nightmare they cannot escape. Many people quickly experience complex and confused feelings – anger, guilt, despair, emptiness, helplessness and hopelessness.

Denial

When the shock begins to wear off, many people go through a stage of denial during which they cannot accept the reality of the loss. This often involves what is called searching behaviour, an attempt at some level to try to deny that the death has occurred. People often find themselves thinking they have seen or heard the dead person. Many people talk aloud to the person they have lost.

Anger And Guilt

It is common to experience anger, sometimes guilt and often both. Many people find themselves asking: “Why has this happened”? “Why me”? This is particularly so if the loss was sudden, unexpected or involved a tragic accident, it is common to wish to find blame, either in ourselves, in others, or even with the person who has died, and this can lead to powerful feelings of anger and guilt.

Despair And Depression

In the first few weeks the whole situation may seem unbearable and in the months that follow, many people feel there is little purpose in life and nothing of interest in the outside world. People sometimes begin to question their own sanity and think that you are going mad. It is said that this is a common experience.

Acceptance

Eventually people pass through the period of depression and begin to accept the loss. This usually happens with the passage of time and, as the pain eases, we are able to think about our loved one and recall the past without feelings of devastation. This can take up to a year or longer.

It may be when people start thinking of beginning their life again, maybe renewing old interests and taking up new pursuits. Many people take up a hobby as a therapy. Some people feel that this is disloyal to the person who has died, but the past is always a part of us and is not affected by enjoying the present, or planning for the future.

Finding Good Listeners

There is no automatic or quick answer to grief and it helps to express the feelings that well up inside us. Many people are afraid to talk to us when we experience a loss because they feel they will upset us. Most people do not realise that we want and need to talk about our loss. It is important to find good listeners.

 

Stricken By Grief for MOPS Families & Friends

Heavenly Father I come before feeling weighed down with sorrow. I lament in pain as I dwell upon the sufferings of your people, the sufferings of your children. My heart is burdened for the community of people who are deep in grief, we suffer great loss. I weep in despair feeling torment to the depth of my bones. Oh the agony! The whimpering babes, in the dead of the night, cut the air, piercing my soul. I cry out to you my God, my rock, my refuge! You who are near the broken hearted and save those crushed in spirit, fill us with your spirit bringing peace that surpasses all understanding. Your presence permeates the air we breathe, we turn to you and you are here, we come to you with a seeking heart, desiring freedom from this prison of suffering. Our hearts are plagued with fear, not knowing what tomorrow holds. Comfort us with your grace, and bring understanding to who you are. Make us bold for your name’s sake; strip us of the longings for this world. Move us to faith, with endurance and strength, restoring our hope!

Desperately in Christ Jesus I pray, Amen!

Feeling a bit CrUnChY!!!

Ok, so, I did it! I have decided to give this “No Pooing” a try! No pooing you say? That might get a tad bit uncomfortable, and it would if I were referring to my bowels, but I’m not. Actually pooping daily is a really good thing but we will save that discussion for a different day.

Today what I am referring to is the No Shampoo method of caring for my hair.

Shampoos are manufactured using chemicals, some of which can be damaging to your hair. The solvents used to manufacture shampoo often leave your scalp dry and vulnerable to attacks by bacteria. This is because the solvents used to make shampoo weaken your immunity system and expose you to disease. Other solvents have been found to possess early aging properties. A good example is alcohol, which promotes the development of brown spots that are attributed to early aging. Therefore, if you wish to protect your skin against disease and early aging, consider using a shampoo alternative.

Mineral oil is a popular ingredient in chemical based shampoos. This ingredient leads to the clogging of your skin pores, thus interfering with the functioning of the hair follicles. When these pores are blocked, the natural hair growth cycle is also disrupted and the result is the development of weak, discolored hair. it can even prevent the growth of your hair. Excessive oil is not good for your skin since it needs some space to breathe and manufacture new cells.
http://www.nopoomethod.com/

I have decided to use the water, vinegar, honey ( I will pick up raw honey if I like how this works) and essential oil peppermint.

 

To my surprise my hair was easy to comb out and is super soft, so far so good but I will keep you posted about my no poo adventure in the days to come :)

 

King of Kings

Lord, you are the king of every realm  of which I have any knowledge. You are over everything of which I have no knowledge. You are above every living thing because you created them and give them life. Everything that exists is sustained by you. You are before the beginning of everything I know. Your understanding surpasses all I have ever imagined. You are the all-knowing and all-powerful being i…n whose image you have created me and you have revealed Yourself to me as my friend. You are my God and my friend. May I always hold you in a place of awe and yet grow in the appreciation I feel that you would love me as you do and value your friendship with me. Continue to teach me to more completely value this friendship and more fully rely upon you as my God and my  friend. Help me, this day, to gain a better understanding of your plans for me and to work together with you in their realization. You make available the power, wisdom, resources and vision to be certain that your plans become reality. You are King over all you have made.  You are my King. May your kingship be evident in every aspect of my life this day. At every turn, may I see the evidences of your great power and authority and give you glory.  Amen!

Sufficient Grace

The emotion I feel right now engulfs me,
cascading anger, fear, doubt and loneliness
I fear the unthinkable and dread the tomorrow
Just another day of Tormenting resolute, tenacious torture
Stripping me of the very thing I hold dearest to my heart
My love, my endearing mate,
Who in times of uncertainty and qualm Has always been my stronghold.
My flesh My Sin transgressions revealed,
mirroring my trust in man And Lack in God,
My Maker, My Creator, My Author,
The inventor of everything,
The architect of my desires and wants
The originator of everything good
My Most Awesome God
Knows the anguish of my soul
The over whelming darkness That sweeps the ground beneath me
Knocking me back to plummet through the pit of despair.
Though even in darkness I see His light
So tenderly caressing me
Yearning, longing to pull me forward
Never ceasing never forsaking. His perfect light.
Light of love casting out all fear pushing away the darkness
Waterfalls of light Surround me
My Lord my God is near
HE saves me out of my agony
restoring my spirit
My broken heart made new.
So many lessons so much to grasp
So little comprehension
Lacking clarity
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Knowledge and understanding
I cry for discernment I lift my voice for understanding
The Lord gives wisdom and from his mouth flows knowledge and understanding
But he said to me “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness so that Christs power may rest on me. That’s why for Christs sake I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties
FOR WHEN I AM WEAK, I AM MADE STRONG!

Prayers for the MOPS Families

Father God, I come before you heavy in heart, my entire being is overwhelmed with sorrow. I lift the families up before you that are involved in this tragedy, please bring comfort and peace, hold the children involved close and make yourself known to these babes. Please prompt and move your people to aide and assist in the areas in which these families will have the greatest needs, not only today but in the days to come. Bring them support! Father I thank you that I do not have to lean on my understanding, I trust in you and your grace. Please make your grace evident to all who are involved, surround us in your unceasing love. Give the dads the ability to have strength, endurance, and, perseverance, creating among them hope! Help them to lead their families through this in honor and glory, give them understanding into who you are shaping them and molding them into conquers for Christ, moving their families forward in faith. I pray for my sister in Christ who is currently in surgery, guide the doctors hands make them steady and fast. Please bring a new strength to the doctor working on my sister give him clarity of thought, and prompt his support staff to be extra attentive creating an environment where effective medical treatment can take place. Thank you for modern medicine and the miracles that happen within this realm! I pray for the nurses who will be attending to her care and needs following surgery, fill them with compassion and love for the families. God my heart is filled with gratitude as I sit in your presence! Thank you for hearing my plea!

In Jesus Name Amen!  

 

Below are a couple links to articles with information on the accident.

http://kneb.com/news/index.php?more=4y3axxhj
http://m.theindependent.com/news/local/at-least-one-killed-in-multi-vehicle-accident-on-i/article_941d8ca0-36d3-11e3-b9b9-001a4bcf887a.html?mode=jqm#.Ul9cY6q_IC8.facebook

 

Sleepless Nights

Sleepless nights, many tears, groggy mornings…
I am sure that I am not the only person out there who experiences or has experienced many nights such as these! How does one decided to function the following morning, and not only function, but do it in such a way that brings joy  to your family? My answer? You just do! It is a choice to step into the light of the new day, to see the joy and blessings in the midst of the surrounding darkness. I find that as I choose into the new day the darkness slowly fades, as the sun comes up so do I! Perhaps that’s why big windows in my house were so important to me, I am a very visual person and the light of the day always brings me a new hope.
It is not a strength that I find with in myself that gives me the ability to do such things, but it is a gift from above, from my God! He gives me the strength and endurance creating in me a new hope! I press on in his name, moving forward…
Well after saying all of that, I guess I have no excuse now, I get to get off my little hinny and bless my family today by picking up my messy house!
Until next time ~TOODLES!

New To Blogging

So I am new to this whole blogging thing, not entirely sure of what I expect or why I am even embarking on such an endeavor. I suppose that I image it will be a way of processing life at hand. A way to share my joys and sorrows as I move through the journey we call life. “Life Worth Living” my chosen title, inspired by the most incredible man I know, my Husband! We have been experiencing the most amazing adventure together, our marriage is something that I cherish deeply. He has been an amazing example to me and LIFE is worth living, it’s a gift, and our choices we make today do change our tomorrow.

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